She's not convinced
your love is for real
taking yet another walk,
she's still searching.
screaming she falls
her simple request
seemingly unheard yet again
where did you go?
can't you hear her?
mere words
this cannot fix
not this time, not this.
such brokeness heals not itself.
it waits.
it waits for someone greater
someone who knows the beginning
and the end alike.
patience seems the inflictor now
killing her slowly.
she waits.
how long will she wait
until all is well?
how deep will it cut
how far will this go?
on her behalf i fall
to my knees i'm down
crying for tearless eyes
in pain for a numb heart
please, let her wait no longer.
make her whole again.
restore the light, the joy
innocence to her eyes.
can't this be over?
I wait.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
One night during Fall Getaway for Crusade, I kept leaving necessary things in my car, thus forcing me to take a few solitary walks in the dark. These were my thoughts.
(10/05/07)
Why do we put pictures of ourselves on Facebook, faithfully update blogs we know people won't read, or go on telling stories that no one else will understand, simply because we at one time, found them humorous?
I heard it explained like this once. Because we desperately want someone to take interest in the mundane ordinary things in our lives. We want an observer. We want someone to assure us that we are interesting.
So we put our opinions out there on the world wide web, hoping that maybe one person will read and find me to be more than just a girl. More than just a student. More than "just..."
And here I am.
I celebrated my 21st birthday today. And no, I did not get wasted, I do not plan to go "out" and drink so much that I cannot walk. I had one drink with a few friends, enjoyed the evening, and successfully put off studying for my Spanish midterm for just a few more hours. I will most likely regret this decision tomorrow when I am staring at the paper filled with blanks I can't seem to fill and words that I can't seem to translate.
I applied for an internship in Japan for next semester a few weeks ago. The applications were due today, so we are supposed to hear the final decision soon. They will only accept two interns to teach English at a middle school in Matsudo.
I am pretty sure sleeping will be the best form of procrastination right about now.
(10/05/07)
Why do we put pictures of ourselves on Facebook, faithfully update blogs we know people won't read, or go on telling stories that no one else will understand, simply because we at one time, found them humorous?
I heard it explained like this once. Because we desperately want someone to take interest in the mundane ordinary things in our lives. We want an observer. We want someone to assure us that we are interesting.
So we put our opinions out there on the world wide web, hoping that maybe one person will read and find me to be more than just a girl. More than just a student. More than "just..."
And here I am.
I celebrated my 21st birthday today. And no, I did not get wasted, I do not plan to go "out" and drink so much that I cannot walk. I had one drink with a few friends, enjoyed the evening, and successfully put off studying for my Spanish midterm for just a few more hours. I will most likely regret this decision tomorrow when I am staring at the paper filled with blanks I can't seem to fill and words that I can't seem to translate.
I applied for an internship in Japan for next semester a few weeks ago. The applications were due today, so we are supposed to hear the final decision soon. They will only accept two interns to teach English at a middle school in Matsudo.
I am pretty sure sleeping will be the best form of procrastination right about now.
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